A time to weep... a time to mourn

God truly works in miraculous ways. The only thing I can't understand is why he would cause grief and sorrow for our family on the beginning of a new year. My grandfather passed away on the first of January, 2009 because of brain tumor. So much for a fresh start of a new year, eh? Now my mom's gonna be gone for a month and during that time, it's my dad, brother, and I. Without Mom, things are gonna be so hectic. I mean, seriously...
Through this, I believe God is going to help me become more dependant on Him, and learn to be a better housekeeper-filling in for most of the responsibilities my mom had. I'd asked to be more responsible and diligent... more dependant on God... turning to Him for all my problems. However, I didn't expect it to happen THis way.
But I can trust that He did it for good...His own will... even if we're not happy with it.

My cellphone rang, causing my hand to plop over it and silence it. I thought, It's already morning? It rang again, making me aware that someone was calling me. I flipped it open and answered. The number was unfamiliar...but the voice was so much like my mom's. The broken voice said, Your Grandpa died. Still thick with sleep, I hung up, imagining my mom catching a plane and heading off for the States. The phone rang again and this time, the voice claimed to be my aunt.. Oh, I thought, how could I be so stupid. She repeated the news and this time, I said, "Ok", and hung up again. What could simply be wrong with me. The phone rang for the last time as I answered. "I'm sorry, you were sleeping..." "No, I'm.. ugh.." "Grandpa passed away..." Realization dawned upon me. "Let me talk to your mom..." I protested, numb from shock and sleep until my mind finally woke up and decided that it was the best action. Seeing that the time was 2 in the morning, I opened the door to my very surprised dad as I handed over the phone... quickly rushing out, still analyzing the shock. Hot tears rushed out, facing reality as somewhere deep inside, I wished that it wouldn't be true. My fears were confirmed as I heard my mom crying from the other room...

People came over and just comforted our family today. I stayed in my darkened room, trying not to burst out in tears. Memories of my grandpa attacked me... The sympathy in our visitors' eyes only made it worse... I didn't want to think much about it.
When my friend came, she and I just talked. I tried to keep a light tone and not break down. Thankfully, she didn't bring it up again. Soon, we started laughing. I was actually thankful for once to be able to be easily distracted. Her parents stayed and her mom made dinner for us. My friend and I watched movies and talked about stuff. When she left, I was left with no distractions. But I thanked God for sending her over. Then, I was reminded of a verse from Ecclesiastes...Chapter 3, verse 4..a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance... I don't know why.. but the first part really stood out. It fit my situation perfectly, though I doubt it was meant to be in that way. But oddly, I found comfort in it. Easily distracted... or in this case, random as I can get, it led me to think about how Grandpa dying was actually a good thing for him. He was suffering enough... God just shortened his pain. We can be glad that all his troubles are now over. And hopefully, good will come out of all this.